There's an almost perfect negative correlation between the amount I write and the number of readers I get on this blog, which is bad news for one of my imagined futures, as a writer. Speaking of imagined futures, these are diminishing rapidly in number, seemingly by the minute. I am sitting in my knackered old armchair in my squalid little cottage, which I share with forms of microbial life that even David Bellamy would find disgusting. For months now I have slept in an unmade bed so foul that none of the tramps under Waterloo Bridge would wish to trade it for his cardboard box. I should be at Hampton Court, chatting about Veratrum to punters but I have been too depressed to leave the house for two days now. I have run out of toilet paper and cannot summon the energy to buy any more. I have run out of red wine but there are a few bottles of grappa left. I have run out of money and of the will to earn more.
When people leave the City, they usually send their colleagues a fantastically trite email saying how much they've enjoyed working at blah, blah, blah... I had the perfect exit email prepared, a misquotation of a line from Douglas Adams. "So long and thanks for all the cash." I never got to use it because I had a breakdown and ended up in hospital, where I really should have stayed. Too late for regrets now.
Goodbye from torquatus. I'd like to say it's been fun.
I read this as a suicide note. Relieved to hear it's not.
ReplyDeleteI think your thoughts are well worth keeping, so don't throw away my future as your reader. Maybe that's mine to keep. Take care.
ReplyDeleteLieuwe
Hi Lieuwe,
ReplyDeleteI love the idea that my future as yet un-thought thoughts might be in some way your property. I take it as a rare compliment that you'd like to keep them - thank you.
Tom
Having single handedly attempted to derail my life to this point (with a little passing help when i tried to right my ship) I can more than sympathise with your position.
ReplyDeleteI too have enjoyed reading your musings. Indeed they are one of the pleasures of my life. I have sought to read the funnier passages to those who will listen and can have an appreciation of at least some of it.
That said they remain your thoughts and concepts. Without them the world would be a duller place but I would not seek to encourage you to continue purely for my delictation.
I might churlishly suggest that having read your belief in the evils of organised religion (or religion of any kind) you might consider hanging around past the formative years of your children in order to protect them from such malevolence but once again only you can decide.
I , for one , intend to continue. It may at times be a lonelier struggle than I thought might be the case but fuck them.
Oh well there goes the pseudo eloquence.
Sincerely best of luck and hope to hear from you soon...