Christ and the clitoris

When I was a schoolboy, a theology teacher with a particularly specious angle on the Argument from Design told me that he thought the clitoris was the best evidence for the existence of a benevolent God. I presume that he was 'thinking' along the following lines. The clitoris serves no purpose other than to increase women's enjoyment of sex; such a superfluous benefit could have no conceivable adaptive significance; therefore it must be God's gift to women. I hadn't thought about this moron (my theology teacher, that is, not God) for twenty years until I encountered a similar argument from my brother-in-law, two days ago. He made the excellent and inarguable point that pigs eat shit and turn it into bacon. He went on to suggest that they are unlikely to be doing this for their own benefit, so there must be a benevolent God. Frankly, I doubt whether this argument would resist sustained critical assault. There's a bit of a philosophical leap of faith from premise to conclusion. Mind you, we were well into the third bottle of wine by the time N skated onto the thin ice upon which his faith rests and the quality of his linguine with prawns (and the poverty of his education) excuses a lot of theological confusion.

My kids (aged four and almost six) have started coming home from school and telling me all about Jesus and his father, God. They have quite detailed knowledge of the latter's capabilities. Pieter was beside himself with excitement after having discovered that Jesus's dad lives in the sky and has special powers even stronger than Ben Ten's. Pieter's young mind can't really grasp anything that would beat Ben Ten's watch in a straight shoot out.

Call me a grumpy old fart but I am REALLY, REALLY ANGRY that I am supposed to put up with Mrs Brown and Miss Paddock teaching my children the Bible story, as though it were mathematics. Trust our children, my wife tells me. They will draw their own conclusions, if you let them. Putting the opposite case will only result in a reaction and you'll end up with Jehovah's Witnesses for kids. Maybe. But our poor, innocent, ignorant children are immersed in a soup of shite, almost from the beginning. It breaks my heart to listen to Pieter singing, in his little piping voice, about Jesus dying for us on the cross.

Is there anyone out there who agrees with me or is everyone else happy to stand by and watch their children being force fed shit (prior to conversion into bacon) through a fire hose?